Secret Pop

Feb 14, 2002

No More Air

Dream. Asphyxiation. Party in a room filled with water. I was paralyzed, so my husband was carrying me. But I was sociable. My husband was supposed to bring me to the surface to get air periodically. I let him know that I needed air. I was laughing and just gesturing to him casually. He tried to raise me to the surface, but the water had gotten deeper and he couldn't get my head above it. And eventually I passed out. And he was frantic. Going crazy and screaming in that underwater silence for the help of everyone else at the party. But they weren't listening. And I didn't believe he was trying hard enough. And then I was the husband. And I felt the desperation of holding someone in my arms and being responsible for them but knowing that I couldn't give them what they needed and that they were going to die with the knowledge that I let them down.

Sinus pressure. Need more sleep.

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