Jealousy and Inspiration Come in the Same Jar

The King Ten performance I caught last night was absolutely top notch. And my performance in workshop just beforehand was the polar opposite. I want very much to be brilliant. And I fear that, if ever given the chance, I will be many, many shades less bright.

But that's the thing about watching other people do what you do or what you want to do. It's hard to sit still. It's hard not to empathically be in their shoes. It's hard not to want to jump in and join them. I feel this way at orchestra performances, too. And at karaoke bars. I was recounting recently how my grade school teachers would sometimes criticize me on my report cards for always having my hand up in the air when a question was asked, writing comments like, "Mary needs to learn to give others a chance." I wonder how much truth in that persists into adulthood. I have long since stopped raising my hand. But that hardly means I have taken my seat. I think I give plenty of people all the chances in the world. But it's an oversight.