Secret Pop

Feb 20, 2005

Ex Post Facto

So, I saw that commercial again. The one that prompted me to write this entry. And I've discovered that the actual list of items (that were actually scrolling up from the bottom, even though when I said that part, I thought I was making it up, because I nearly never look at the t.v. while I'm listening to it) was much funnier than the fake ones I made up.

Car Accidents
All Serious Injuries
Slip & Fall
Whiplash
Doctor Mistakes
Hospital Mistakes
Wrongful Death Cases
Motorcycle Accidents
Construction Accidents
Back, Neck & Head Injuries
Dangerous Drugs
Nursing Home Neglect
Birth Injuries
Burns
Brain Damage
Defective Products
Dog Bites

Well, okay. I came up with "Irony," and that was pretty good. But I thought "Brain Damage" and "Dog Bites" were also very amusing. Especially because of their proximity to each other. And when you go to the web site for lawyersgroup.com, it turns out it isn't even a law office. It's an advertising service for lawyers who litigate personal injury cases, and the web site promises a dramatic increase in caseload on the basis of commercials like this one. One of the bullets on the home page, enumerating the things this company offers, is "Advertising Strategies to Reach Injury Victims." I think I appreciate the matter-of-fact way in which this service is just the Internet's answer to ambulance-chasing. Lawyers are dicks. Except for all the ones I know, who are actually decent and wonderful people.

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