Secret Pop

Sep 14, 2001

Invitation to a Backrub

I play the violin. I hunch over in front of a computer all day. And I carry a little bit of extra weight up front, if you know what I mean. I'm a girl who has a nagging ache between her shoulder blades most every hour of the day. And I have found that when I stretch and twist and crack my back or rub my neck, there is often a kind gent nearby who will offer to rub me down politely. First off, I will only accept a backrub from someone I know, so don't worry about the inherent danger I might be subjecting myself to when aboard some form of mass transit. But the thing is, I know what it looks like. I know it looks like I'm offering a guy a chance to "get close." But I assure you, I'm really just hoping to find a pair of magic hands to relieve my suffering and restore my posture to normal. I hope that doesn't make me a whore.

Incidentally, the sad fact is that most guys just don't dig deep enough when they give a backrub. So, I end up letting some dude use his fingers like calipers on my musculature and still walk away unsatisfied. If you dig in there with enough vigor, you will actually feel my muscles crunch. And then you will have found in me a friend for life. As long as your definition of friend only requires me to sit on the floor in front of you getting backrubs while you watch HBO.

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