Swashbuckling Gridiron

It's unusual for me to know this far in advance the names of the teams contending for the Superbowl trophy (which is a giant pewter elephant filled with fruit cereal, right?), but I heard it would be the Buccaneers versus the Raiders, and I thought, "Finally! An appropriate occasion for me to wear an eyepatch and carry a parrot on my shoulder!" I won't, of course. My depth perception is bad enough, and parrots are hard to come by. But it was a pleasant thought.