Secret Pop

Dec 17, 2003

"Lie down on the pillows, happiness hunters!"

It's easy to get disoriented when you have to try and juggle two cities, two lives, two anything. It's easy to drop one or both. It's easy to forget yourself. When you are so often plunging yourself into that stasis of reconnecting. The long drive. The long wait. The mindless passage of time. The solitude and the quiet and the scenery racing by. You might as well be asleep. A great, long dreamless sleep where there is no morning and no chirping of birds to contend with.

What a windy day it was today. Filling the air with a slurry of loose dirt and brown matter. Coming down a hill, the stretch of San Diego before me looked like an old photograph, sepia-toned and indistinct. It made my throat hurt to breathe it. I was glad to be safe inside my car, driving towards clearer skies.

Sometimes, I am still able to be generous. And to be grateful. For the generosity itself and for what it does. Don't give up. That's what my address would be. To all you happiness hunters. You dream stealers. You sleep walkers. Don't squander it. Stay awake for as long as you can. The night is long.

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