Secret Pop

Nov 10, 2003

Encouragement for the Record and Two-Minute Noodles

I have a friend in Australia called Simon. Each time he writes me, he makes me laugh and laugh, pause for a moment, and wonder if people in other countries are just plain better than me. He said something nice to me recently. I was bemoaning my being a giant leeching failure, and he said, I think "dynamo of awesomeness" is a better description of you at this point. It was the nicest thing that was said to me that whole week. Later, he said, on the continuing topic of my financial destitution, I also spend too fast, which is why I have no money either. We could start a social club where we all meet for 2-minute noodles and cask wine, go shopping at The Smith Family shop then take the bus home... And if I were to be very, very diligent and open up all of his previous emails and ICQs and Friendster posts, I would be able to concatenate a long list of sentences that made me smile either affectionately or admiringly.

I don't know what the value of writing things down is, but I save it all meticulously. Sometimes I read through old letters and emails and I find things so whimsical or so beautiful or so melancholy or so pathetic. It's hard to have a feeling about something you've read and not tell someone else about it or write it down somewhere. It's almost as if the sensation won't have existed if you don't atleast capture its shadow. And the myth of Peter Pan makes me long for the childhood I never really had.

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