Secret Pop

Oct 8, 2003


Arnold Schwarzenegger won. I am chagrined. And amazed.

Tonight, Howard Dean made the point that if a recall were to be held on a nationwide scale, "it's quite possible that 50 governors would find themselves paying the price for one president’s ruinous national economic policies." The handful of Davis-detractors I spoke with in recent weeks didn't seem to be able to process this correlation. That California's economic decline was not an event singlehandedly orchestrated by Governor Davis. That there are countless nationwide factors that have affected prosperity in this state. That things are tough all over. And that there are people on Capitol Hill who should be far more gravely shamefaced over that whole Enron debacle. But they are barely cracking a frown as they take their heart medication.

It's just so easy to say, "I'm not happy with how things are, so I want a do-over." It's easy to say that. But it's also immature, unrealistic, and short-sighted. It's that same sort of thinking that people use to excuse themselves when they break up their marriages or are unfaithful to their partners. But, see, economic growth -- like intimacy -- is hard work, people. Bailing out is easy, isn't it? And fun, too! It's like when your parents let you bring your pool toys in the bathtub because it's raining outside. How great is that? Anarchy! Topsy-turviness! Being wet!

Dean said California voters took their frustrations out on Davis. "Come next November," he said, "that anger might be directed at a different incumbent -- in the White House." Please please PLEASE God, make it be true. Are you there, God? It's me. Mary. And, no, that doesn't mean I just got my period. That happened a long time ago. At school. When I was wearing a pair of pink Gloria Vanderbilt pants. I was at my cubby hole (where I always kept a full mini-mart-size case of Juicy Fruit gum), and this girl Sharon (whose brother was a diabetic) clued me in. I thought she was off her nut. I laughed and ignored her and didn't realize the astuteness of her observation until I got home in the afternoon and sat down on my Raggedy Ann and Andy sheets, ruining them.

Talking about my period makes me remember how disturbing it is to be a woman watching all sorts of articulate, accomplished, and powerful women say that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the bee's knees. A few days ago, I saw Tia Carrera (who is neither articulate nor particularly accomplished nor at all powerful, but she was in Wayne's World) at a podium saying what a gentleman Arnold had been when they worked together on -- what was it? True Lies? -- which included her having to sit on his lap or something. And I wondered what the point of that affirmation could be other than to imply that these numerous women who are coming forward and saying that Arnold violated and humiliated them must all be liars. Way to go, Tia. Taking one for the team. I'll have to do a LexisNexis search to see what Tia's stance was on Anita Hill's "brave" testimony when it was on the front page. Don't worry. I know that Tia had no opinion on that topic. Clarence Thomas is not very cute or very rich or very Hollywood-savvy. What interest would she have had in taking his side? I also know that I don't have access to LexisNexis. That was me showing that my goat was gotten. And, no, that is not a reference to my period.

P.S. This is infuriating.