The only people who ask are the ones you can't tell.

Why is today different from other days?

Shh. I saw X-MEN 2 tonight. No one must know.

How is it that Wolverine wears that furrowed brow and it gets me all ajangle, but I notice that I've been wearing a similarly scrunched look, and it does nothing whatever for my sex appeal. Maybe it's just the difference between the angst of the angry and the angst of the angst-ridden.

I am keen to see the movie in a big, overchilled theater with hundreds of other tragic comic book-loving filmgoers. The camaraderie. The soaring spirits. The shame. It's a lot like being with my family. They're my family, and I love them. But they're my FAMILY. They inspired me to procure the domain shametycoons.com, which I own. I am also the proud owner of iamnoone.com, impotentrage.com, and goodeatingfish.com. Watch for future developments on one or more of those titles. But don't start pressuring me about it. I can't handle it right now.

These days, I can only keep up the smiling face for so long. Sadness drags at the corners of my smile like hooks with lead shot on the ends. There was something false about the smile to begin with. It was always more of a simper. Not everyone sees through it. And, while it's true that you can't fool all of the people all of the time*, it's also true that most of the ones who can't be fooled have better things to do than to pay attention to you. Or me, as it happens.

I'm tired of looking so tired.

* P.T. Barnum said this, didn't he? Well, he can suck it. What a self-important, postulating windbag.