Dream Weaver

I almost forgot -- and surely, at this point, I will have forgotten much -- but I woke up in the 5 A.M. hour and realized that I had been dreaming something that made me laugh out loud. A character in my dream -- played by the actor who played the Euro-villain in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and who has been in car commercials and assorted other things -- was reciting some information and was impressed with himself, saying that he usually has the poorest memory imaginable. He picked up some common object and said, "My memory is so bad, I called this 'hoon.'" I have no idea why that was so amusing to me, and I am certainly leaving out the details that I would have remembered had I been more diligent and tried to jot it down at the time of waking. But I am also well aware that no amount of detailed recounting would make this more interesting to other people. Dreams have a way of being incredibly dull in the retelling. Unless there's naughtiness involved. And usually -- if it's good and coherent and titillating -- it isn't authentic dream material. Sleep-bound erotica that doesn't involve the odd presence of clowns or dancing mailmen or animate baked goods is an artifice. Surely.