Stop the Abuse

I'm listening to a really awful synthesized instrumental version of Penny Lane on hold with Cingular. Cingular and I have a weirdly evolving relationship. I almost feel like we're dating. Based on the number of times we're on the phone for forty-five minutes or more. How quickly my mood changes when Cingular answers the phone. How often I lose my temper. Have to fight back the tears. Or fight the urge to hang up without saying goodbye. Cingular is a lousy boyfriend. A boyfriend who won't let me talk on the phone with anyone for more than ten minutes at a time. A boyfriend who is constantly saying, in so many words, "What do you want from me? I've done everything I can." Cingular takes my money and makes me feel like I'm being taken advantage of. And Cingular is always suggesting that maybe the solution to my problem is that I need to upgrade to a newer and more sophisticated model. If Cingular and I ever get married, please do everything you can to make sure we don't have children. This is just not a healthy environment for kids to be raised in.