I just drank a grape soda, and, boy, are my arms tired.

I managed to make every wrong driving decision I possibly could tonight. I'm beginning to worry that martinis are making me stupid and clumsy. Although history -- followed by the vodka lobby -- may say that I was clumsy to begin with.

I also just realized that I'm old enough to remember when soda cans had those sharp, tear-drop-shaped tops that you had to actually pull off. Either that, or the stock they sold on the military base was very, very old. That's entirely possible. I think I was in junior high school before I realized that sodas were supposed to be fizzy.*

Dogs can smell crazy.

*This is an exaggeration.