Secret Pop

Jun 14, 2002


There was no shortage of things today. From waking to now -- moments before the great sleep ritual begins -- I've been swirling around in a torrent. I had reason to walk in the sunlight today. I had reason to sigh and shake my head. I had reason to write a great deal. I visited places I love and places I'd not yet been. I bought things I wanted, never mind whether I needed them. I made friends with a bartender, although I suspect he'll forget me -- despite the largesse of my tip. I helped friends and muddled through. I scanned pictures in the wee hours. I approved of myself at various points along the way. I leaned into the wind. I strode with confidence. I told stories that I love to tell and laughed before I got to the end of them. And I think I may have impressed a few people. Which is always a bonus.

When I tuck in tonight, I will be thinking about the stars I can't see because of the bright fact of the Los Angeles night sky. I will be remembering stars on hilltops when it was night and it smelled sweet and no one was looking and playful romance was on the menu. I will be remembering that sleep comes in many places and that dreams carry more in them than the passage of time. I will think about Battleship Brand clams in a can and nights when I did not know to worry. Nothing has changed. Nothing ever seems to. I am where I was. I am where I am. I am on the verge of something. And getting to it hurts. As if I must pass through my own flesh to get there. What treasure could there possibly be hiding so deep inside of me.

I try never to hurt anyone. Am I the only one?

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