This is a stick-up.

There was a bank robbery just moments ago here in my building. Two men in ski masks came in and robbed the bank and then took off, but not before scuffling pugilistically with one of the maintenance men -- who was curiously motivated to struggle with assailants despite his apparent inability to find the time to come and fix my air conditioner.

No one was hurt. The men in blue are on the scene. Sometimes I forget that I live in a city. And then I remember.